Tuesday, February 22, 2011

i am suppose to be doing homework. but naah who cares.

like i said, i should be doing homework. but that is totally and completely out of my wants right now. anyway...
today i was thinking about my biggest fears.
not like a little girl disney princess kind of fear-like shots or spiders
or heights-but more like the kind of fear of like...
"seriously if one of these things happened to me i might shoot myself" kind of fears.
these fears are fears that i am fearing now in my life at this time, i might not be fearing them in 3 months or a year.
(holy schnikes i just said fear like 4x in one sentence)
wellp, here there are. don't judge me:
#1-getting a disease.
if you know me then you know i have the weirdest immune system that gets the weirdest diseases.
as a teenager i had colitis, shingles, and other weird (mostly skin) elderly diseases.
since matson and i have been married i have been lucky enough to not get any of these.
i do not want this. so knock on wood for me.
i like my healthy body! which leads me to #2...

#2-getting fat or even chubby.
 i know everyone's bodies are different and such. i know women are of all shapes and sizes. 
but for some reason i am hard on myself.
i am super scared that one day i will wake up and be big.
this is one of my biggest fears.
i am not super insecure like on the verge of eating disorder obsessive
i just care about my body and staying healthy. i go to the gym pretty much everyday and try to eat the best i can i have a horrible sweet tooth tho.

#3-having a baby soon.
waking up six days in a row of stomach pains and no period then going to the store buying prego tests and then when the little smiley face/positive sign (i have no idea what shows up but something does) shows up on more than 3 tests. i would instantly...
then i would probably start to get super happy and excited.
i am A-OK with babies i mean i love babies, i love children, yet i am young and not ready to add a third member to our family.
hugest fear.


  1. Erica you're so cute. Don't fear pregnancy!! But... If you're that scared there's always abstinence ;) Hahaa

  2. I am pretty much with you on these! ESP the getting preggos part!

  3. haha i love this, we basically have the same fears.:) you two are so cute