Our Christmas Day Miracle

This post has taken me awhile to decide if I should write or not. Once again this may be a little TMI for some readers. If you don't like blood then stop reading now. I am going to spare you a lot of details, but I just look at my blog as a journal so I thought I should write about this day that was a sad but blessed day. AND I am not writing this to get sympathy. Ha.

On Christmas day 2014, I woke up in the morning to feed Nixon at about 7 am. He went back to sleep and almost instantly I started not feeling my best. My stomach kind of hurt and I felt like I had to go to the bathroom so bad. Yet when I continually kept trying to go to the bathroom, I couldn't. Matson woke up for the day and I told him I wasn't feeling good, which kind of sucked because honestly I love Christmas. I love family traditions and look forward to them for weeks. I had been looking forward to this Christmas day for months because I knew it would be so special to have our little boy with us for the holiday. Even though I wasn't feeling so great I did my make up for the day to look a little better but stayed in my pajamas because that's what my family does. Pj's all day!

My mom makes a really big Christmas breakfast every year. So my whole family including my grandparents sat down for our big Christmas breakfast at about 9 am. I wasn't feeling my best still so I just ate a little bit of everything. While eating breakfast I really was feeling sick and like I had to go to the bathroom SOOO bad. I felt so much pressure down below and my stomach was hurting so bad. I took magnesium and fiber to see if that would help my constipation (PS: I hate that word. Constipation. Worst word ever besides the word moist.). My grandma who was in town from Washington was asking me what was wrong and even though this makes me sound like a baby, I cried as I told her how I felt. After helping to get breakfast cleaned up my family was all ready to start our Christmas morning!

Real quick I told my family that I needed to run to the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and nothing came. Still a bunch of pressure down there and my stomach was hurting so bad. All of the sudden I felt like I was going pee, but I wasn't. I looked down in the toilet and it was starting to fill with bright red blood and even some clots of blood. I yelled to my mom who was still cleaning up in the kitchen. She came in and I asked her if it was normal to bleed this much after having a baby. Just the night before my sister in law, my mom, and I had been talking about how after I had only had Nixon about 9 days prior and that I hadn't really bled as much as other women have told me. They both talked about how they bled a lot just a couple days after having a baby. I didn't think much of it and shrugged it off. I thought that I was the lucky one who didn't bleed much. MAN, was I wrong!

As I sat there with a constant flow of blood, I was thinking about that conversation and that this must be what all those women were talking about. My mom told me it was normal. But then I just continued to bleed and bleed. She grabbed the biggest pad she had at her house and I put it on and told her I just wanted to go upstairs real quick to wash off in the bathtub and change then I would be down for gifts.

Right when I got upstairs into my childhood bedroom, I could still feel bleeding. I looked and the pad was full. It only took me about 1 minute to walk upstairs. So in 1 minute I filled the biggest pad ever. I got in the bathtub and turned on the hot water. I figured the bathtub is the safest place so that I didn't bleed all over the carpet. I filled the bathtub only about an inch and already the tub water was bright red. I was starting to feel super weak, my stomach was killing more than some of my contractions just 9 days earlier when I was delivering Nixon. I wasn't sure if I was feeling weak because I was grossed out of all the blood or because I was actually sick. At this point I still had no idea if this was the blood that my sister in law and my mom were talking about the night before or not. I didn't know whether or not it was normal to bleed this much and so long after having my baby.

After I had literally refilled the bathtub like 4 times with water and it being bright red and thick, I starting realizing that it was not normal. This is when I knew I couldn't get up to get someone. I was feeling too weak so I started yelling. My family had Christmas music on downstairs so I had to yell pretty loud. No one seemed to be hearing me. I was yelling "Matson" and "Mom" to see if either of them would hear me. As dramatic as this sounds I was also banging on the bathtub wall because I knew I couldn't get up because blood would just go everywhere. I probably looked like some hormonal teenager from a teen sitcom yelling and hitting the wall while screaming their names. Haha. My mom must have heard me because she came up. She looked at the bathtub and told me that this was definitely not normal. She started cleaning up everything and she sat on the toilet right next to the bathtub as I continued to bleed in pain. She kept watching me and I could tell by her face that this was not the normal bleeding she had been talking about the night before. Matson came in and his face was in shock. He doesn't do so well with blood or anything like this, we were surprised he made it through the birth of our son. My mom told Matson, "This is not normal. This is a lot of blood."

Matson started to text and call my OB doctor. He wasn't responding (Of course he wasn't! It was Christmas morning!). Both my mom and Matson decided right there that we needed to get to the hospital. My dad was in my room as some point too. I don't know exactly what went on because I was just trying to get through the pain while they all made the quick decision and plan of what to do.

Matson and my dad ran downstairs. They got the car right by the garage door and a bunch of towels onto the passenger seat. Meanwhile my mom was helping me stand out of the bath, get my pj's back on, and I couldn't stand so literally my mom was carrying all my weight. If you know my parents house then you can picture this. My mom, who weighs like 100 pounds, carried all my weight from my bathroom to the top of the stairs. I think she realized that I wasn't doing too well and that she probably couldn't carry me down the stairs so I sat on a chair at the top of the stairs until Matson came and picked me up. Matson picked me up, we ran down the stairs, I could hear Nixon crying, and as we were leaving I told my mom through tears that Nixon was going to be very hungry soon. He needed to feed right then! It's amazing what being a mom does to you. Even through all my pain and bleeding, I honestly couldn't think of anyone but Nixon. I needed to feed him and that was all that I was thinking about.

We got in the car and Matson was speeding to the hospital. It was snowing and yes, Matson was speeding. I will be honest I thought we were going to get in a wreck and we almost did twice because of dumb non-Utahns driving in Utah snow. I screamed at Matson multiple times to watch out and slow down. This felt all too familiar to the morning before Nixon was born. Matson responded to me that I needed to get to the hospital and he was not going to stop even if it was a red light. So it made me very happy that all the lights were green and we didn't have to go through any red lights.

We finally arrived to the ER doors. Matson carried me out and my dad, who followed us there in his own car, took our car and parked it for us. Matson carried me in and put me on a wheelchair. They wheeled me into an ER room. The nurse instantly started asking questions to Matson and I. We told her I had just had a baby 9 days before and everything that had happened this morning. Meanwhile another nurse was putting an IV in. Next the nurse looked at my downstairs and did confirm that something was definitely wrong and that I was losing a lot of blood. She changed everything, threw away my soaked clothes, and tried to clean me up to only have to clean me up less than 20 minutes later due to all the blood. My dad and Matson were making grossed out and shocked faces at my blood. There were blood clots the size of fists coming out. YUCK!

Because it was Christmas there was not very many people at the hospital. There was a doctor on call there but by this point my OB (my parents' neighbor and family friend) had already responded to us and told us he was sorry that he wasn't by his phone and that he was leaving his house to the hospital now to come help. I am SO grateful to him and his family for giving up their Christmas for me too. My OB ordered for an ultrasound. The nurse had to call in an ultrasound tech because none were there due to the holiday. It took her about 45 minutes to an hour to get there. When she came she wheeled me to the ultrasound room. She looked at my uterus to see if any pieces from the birth were in there. There were. She wasn't sure if they were placenta or what but something was in there that wasn't supposed to, which may be why I was bleeding so much. She explained to Matson, my dad, and I that they were smaller than a centimeter but that it didn't matter how small.

After the ultrasound, my OB arrived and checked me out. I'm not sure at what point I was given morphin but I was because all of the sudden I started going in and out of sleep. Drugs work VERY well on me. In high school I used to take lortab for pain and I literally would take it and in less than 30 minutes I would knock out and sleep for hours and hours. Due to the pain medication the only few things I remember was that the nurse had to keep changing the pads underneath me (like the pads that you train a dog on) and that after the ultrasound my OB decided that I needed to have surgery to remove whatever was in me and to stop my bleeding.

Since I was to have surgery my OB had to call in a surgical nurse, anesthesiologist, and others to come to the hospital so he could perform the surgery. This took another hour or so for them to all arrive. Once again I think I was in and out of sleep this whole time because all I remember before the surgery was that Matson left to go check on Nixon and to talk to his brother who was calling from his LDS mission. He didn't want to leave me but my dad reassured him that he would stay by my side and wait for me while I was in surgery. So Matson left to go talk to his brother who we only get to talk to twice a year and introduce Nixon to him over the phone. After Matson left some of the people we needed for the surgery showed up. This is when my OB and the anesthesiologist wheeled me to the operating room and my dad was told to wait in the waiting room. I moved onto the cold operating table and the last thing I remember before they "put me under" was my OB sternly asking where the surgical nurse, Karl, was and that he better hurry because I needed the surgery NOW. To be honest that kind of freaked me out but also made me realize that this was very serious.

Since the next thing I remember is being in the after care room, I am going retell you the next events from Matson and my dad's memories.

During my hour or so long surgery Matson was able to talk to his brother for a little bit and introduce Nixon to him. They also held a big family prayer over the phone with his brother on his mission. At this point Matson had no idea what was happening to me at the hospital and his family was all very worried about me. Matson returned Nixon back to my family's house and came to the hospital. I was done with my surgery and in the recovery room. The doctor and surgical team came into the recovery room just as Matson got there. The doctor had blood all over his shoes and stuff. He told Matson and my dad that they could go see me. They walked over and Matson said it was the worst thing ever. He could tell I was not in good shape, which shocked him because he thought that the surgery was going to fix me. Even though the surgery was done, Matson said I was as white as could be and I laid on the hospital bed not moving and in pain. Matson and my dad were very concerned because even though I had the surgery, I was still bleeding. This not only surprised my dad and Matson but also the recovery nurse, surgical nurse, anesthesiologist, and my doctor. I was still losing a lot of blood.

Matson recalls the time in the recovery room being very up and down. He remembers all of the medical staff panicking and running around the entire time I was in there. Machines going off and on.  My dad hated when I would randomly scream from pain. I don't even remember screaming but apparently I was. I was in the recovery room for quite a long time. Multiple times they were wanting to give me a blood transfusion but my doctor kept holding off because blood transfusions can be risky for future children and can cause other complications. The entire time I was in there Matson said I was paler than a ghost, not moving or doing much but sometimes would say short phrases over and over again. One was that I was freezing cold so they put like 20 warm blankets all around my face and body. Another thing I kept asking and worry about was Nixon. Then I would also worry about Christmas and our family traditions. Then lastly he said about every 10 minutes or so I would say I think I am peeing. But I wasn't peeing, I was actually bleeding more. This is when the medical staff would scramble around not knowing why I was still bleeding.

This is obviously not my most attractive picture.

 This is me about 2 hours after my surgery during the crazy time in the recovery room.

Matson and my dad were sitting by my side yet out of the team's way. Matson said he continually was praying for me. He thought I was going to pass away and that he was going to have to take care of Nixon all on his own. That's all he was thinking about. The nurse could not even get a needle in me to take some of my blood to test. They poked me all over to see if they could get some blood out but there wasn't any blood. It took multiple nurses and then finally the anesthesiologist to fill just a very small amount of a vial.  After a few hours of stress in the recovery room, I stopped bleeding and was finally ok. They moved me to a regular hospital room. I was stable but Matson said I was still complaining about being cold and I was still pretty much asleep. By this time it was about 7pm or so in the evening. 

I remember waking up and suddenly being in a normal hospital room. My first thought was that I had to get something to eat. I was starving. They brought me some nasty ham Christmas meal. Matson forced me to eat at least half of it because I needed to eat meat now so that I could have more iron in my body to help me build up my blood supply. In the regular hospital room the nurses were so nice. They got me fluids, a bunch of medicine, loads of fresh warm blankest, and they kept telling me that I may have to stay over night. I DID NOT WANT TO STAY OVER NIGHT. It was Christmas and I felt like I had already ruined it for both our families. Plus I really wanted to see Nixon. I felt so bad for abandoning him all day.

My family was amazing and took care of him. My sister in law fed him all day since she was breastfeeding my niece. She also gave him his first bottle of pumped milk. She was amazing. I balled when I heard about all the nice things people had been doing for us all day. Lots of prayers, my family taking care of Nixon, my sis in law feeding him, all the medical staff taking extra time for me on Christmas day, and both our families waited and paused Christmas for me. 

Since my doctor knew I badly wanted to be home on Christmas, he allowed me to be discharged out of the hospital. I was incredibly happy. My doctor told me that I could go home if I just rested and took it very very easy. To recover all I needed was some pain medicine, lots of sleep, and iron. He also told me it would be a couple of weeks to a month before I feel normal again. YIKES. Finally at 11pm on Christmas I was discharged. 

I went back to my parents house and saw my sleeping baby. Apparently he slept all day long and all he did was wake up to eat. He was an angel baby so they said. At 11pm my family started our Christmas. They fed me again (more red meat) and even though I was feeling very weak I sat on the couch and watched everyone open their gifts. It was a little bit of a different Christmas but I was so grateful everyone waited for me. The next night Matson's family had their Christmas and I will be honest it still totally felt like Christmas!

All in all I lost 2 liters of blood at the hospital and who knows how much more before I got to the hospital at my parents house. I lost a significant amount of blood and was therefore considered anemic. For the next month and the first month of our newborn's life I was very weak. I slept when Nixon slept and it took all the energy I had to just get in the bath each day. I couldn't even get up to make myself food or I literally felt so light headed. Matson was a saint. He made all the meals, cleaned everything, fed Nixon bottles in the middle of the night, and was Mr. Mom. PLUS he tried to work as much as he could from home. Matson's biggest job though was forcing me to eat red meat. That was a job in and of itself. Haha. I hate red meat. Actually let's be for real here. I hate all meat really.

The pieces of junk they took out of me was sent into a lab to be tested. It wasn't placenta or anything. Just blood clots. My doctor explained to us that what happened was my uterus didn't fully contract so my body still thought I was pregnant. It was still pumping all my blood down to my uterus as if our baby was in there. But since it wasn't, my uterus was just filling up with blood. Now I know in the future that I should bleed more right after having my baby and I should have strong cramps from my uterus contracting down. 

I am so grateful for prayer, my family, friends, and my husband. I could not have done this without him or our families. We are so incredibly blessed. 

Highlight Reel | August 2013 - May 2014

There is no way that I will ever be able to catch you up on everything that has happened during my blogging hiatus. So instead I am going to do this highlight post (think of it like a highlight reel - but BLOGGING STYLE). WARNING: It might get long and wordy so if you wanna just skip this post, that's all good. I will see you next time!

The last time I blogged was in early August of 2013 so just a quick catch up form then month by month.

August 2013 - Matson and I walked even though we both didn't really finish school until December of 2013. Went to Las Vegas for a quick trip with friends before school started. Best idea ever...it was our last taste of freedom.

September 2013 - I started my very last semester at BYU by teaching at Spring Creek Elementary in Provo School District for 6 weeks. I was in 6th grade which totally sucked (they really do need to wear some deodorant), but I learned so much which was the best. Matson and I also watched some of our favorite little kiddos for the last week in September while their parents went out of town. We had a blast with the kids and even had a "Drive In Movie Night" inside. It was the cutest, the kids loved it, and they literally sat in their cars (made from boxes) the whole movie. Their baby is just the sweetest, happiest, most perfect little baby...I wouldn't mind have a baby just like him! At the very end of the month, I think the last day, I started my student teaching at a school in Nebo School District named Mt. Loafer Elementary. I taught in 4th grade. Best thing ever! I also turned 23!

My last FIRST day of school

Inside Drive In Movie

BEST baby in the world!

October 2013 - We watched another one of our favorite families when their parents went out of town again. We always have a blast with the B* family kiddos. HALLOWEEN. Matson and I were Katniss and Gale (he didn't want to be Peeta...whatever) from The Hunger Games for Halloween. We both love the books and the movies, so we figured it would be fun and easy enough. But the very best was on Halloween for school I dressed up as an old lady. It was one of my best costumes EVER. No one recognized me and my students loved it.

Us (in our Hunger Games costumes) with the B* kiddos at a Halloween Party. 

My attractive Halloween costume. Definitely one of my best yet.

November 2013 - We watched my nanny family kiddos while their parents went out of town (I know we just love watching families, it is the best experience and practice for us).

STUDENT TEACHING/HOW I GOT MY JOB. Anyway, in November I was just sooo busy with my student teaching. I focused so much on them and I was fortunate enough to work with two teachers. One in the morning who taught all literacy and one in the afternoon who taught math, science, and social studies. They both are incredibly strong teachers because they focus on their subjects so I learned from the best of the best for every subject and was able to grow sooo much. In mid November I started looking for jobs that were opening up mid-year. I was mostly looking in Provo School District because that is where all the mid-year job openings were. A neighboring school in Nebo School District was apparently looking for a teacher to take the place of a 4th grade intern teacher who was quitting mid year. The school's facilitator, Leslie, came and watched me teach in my student teaching class and then told me she and the school's principal would love to meet with me! So later that week I met with them and that Friday night I got a call from the principal, Kali, and was offered the job! Matson and I were thrilled. As soon as I found out I got my job, I got right to work. BYU allowed me to end my student teaching early and somewhat graduate a month early kind of. That way I could focus on MY class not, someone else's class. I had lots to do - deciding what my classroom would need, look like, and all that jazz. My mom, Matson, and Leslie were so nice to help me over Thanksgiving Break to set up my class room.

December 2013 - And on December 2nd I started my first day of REAL teaching. I wasn't necessarily nervous, I just wanted the kids to like me. That sounds so nerdy, but honestly I just wanted them to love me and each other. I treated December 2nd like it was the first day of school back in August. The teacher that taught them before me was very different so I started over from scratch in December. Call me nuts, but I had to make sure that I was comfortable in my own classroom and that things would work me for the rest of the year so that the students could succeed. December was also full of fun holiday festivities. We had our annual Christmas party with friends and Mats and I made our best gingerbread house yet! We enjoyed the Christmas season so much and found out on Little Christmas Eve. that my brother and sister in law were pregnant. We were ecstatic! Another niece or nephew (which we now know is a niece!).

January 2014 - We took our nephew, B*, to the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point. He loved it and we loved taking him there. A good family friend and my dad's father figure throughout his life passed away. We will miss you Warren!

B* on a quest to get T-Rex!

February 2014 - Celebrated Matson's 26th birthday! He is feeling old! At the end of the month, we found out at my brother and sis in law's Gender Reveal party that they are having a girl! So excited for August (maybe late July) to come!

March 2014 - Our good friends from Texas came into town and we got to spend time with them! Matson and my brother's basketball team won the WHOLE city league tournament! It was so intense and fun to watch the games this year. Matson probably gets terribly embarrassed from all my screaming and cheering, but no one is worse than my dad cheering for them.

City League Champions!

April 2014 - We watched the B* family, which was so much fun. We only had the two youngest so we got to spoil them and just play, play, play! After years and even months of trying to convince my grandparents to move down to Utah from Oregon, they finally caved in! I spent my spring break off from school up there helping my mom get them all packed up and ready to move. And after DECADES of living there, there was a lot to got through. (I will write a post more about the move later...lots of funny stories).

Matson and the B* kiddos playing around at the grocery store!

May 2014 - I cut off 12 inches of my hair and donated it to Locks of Love (no tears), had a wonderful Memorial Day with my family and husband, enjoyed the last week of school, and sadly (with tears) said goodbye to my 4th grade class. My class was so sweet and decorated my car on the last day of school and brought me many gifts. Also, 2 minutes before the FINAL bell rang on the LAST day of school one of the boys in my class yelled, "Group Hug!" and my whole class ran into the center of our classroom and hugged each other. It was the sweetest thing and that's when the tears started. Man, I love those kids.

New haircut. So weird to get use to.

My class and I the last week of school.

DONE! Wellp, there you go. That is the best update I could get to you in like 30 minutes of writing!

Reevaluation

This is a post about change and about making myself a better person.

A strong memory of my childhood was once when I was about 7 years old. My family was living in my parents "Dream House" in West Seattle. I literally was so naive to everything in this world. I was completely unaware of swear words, money, trials, and I had no idea how to act in social situations yet all I craved was acceptance so much so that I would stay up late waiting on the stairs and listening in on my parents and their friends talking. At this young age of 7 I did know that I didn't fit in with my brothers. Once in our bonus room (pretty much our play room) my siblings (in normal kid fashion) informed me that I wasn't as "cool" as my younger sister and that I wasn't as fun to play with.

As sad as that sounds, this is not the point of my story. The point of my story is how I reacted. I wasn't sad and I didn't go tattle on my siblings (which is a shocker because I was very well known as the tattletale). I took what they said and decided to love them. I clearly remember thinking well if they don't want to play with me then I am going to do nice things for them and then for sure they will want to play with me! As dumb as these things sound now I decided that I was going to help clean up their rooms, try and make them laugh, leave them notes, draw pictures of them, or let them choose what VHS we watch or game we play.

This is a slightly dumb example but this is how I use to react to situations that were hard for me. I took them in and usually cried, but then came up with how I was going to be nice or helpful to make them and myself happier.

Somewhere along my life journey how I reacted to situations changed for the worse. I no longer did nicer things for others (especially those closest to me), I didn't try my hardest to make people feel comfortable and want to be around me. This is just one thing that I want to change in my life.

I have reevaluated my life by asking myself simple questions. What makes me unhappy? What am I impatient about? Who do I want to be? How do I want to be perceived? How do I want to be remembered? When asking these questions to myself I wasn't looking for easy answers.

Well here it is...these last 12 hours of my life have been huge for me. I have come to terms with myself, which means that I am completely aware of the hard changes I need to make in my life so that I can be a better, positive person. I don't want to only fill my life with positivity, optimism, and joy but adding more of it to the lives of people around me too. I want to be a person that people will choose to be around.

// Note to the 6 people who actually read my blog: I am sure many of you are thinking well where the heck have you been for almost a year? This is something else that I need to change in my life. I need to make time for blogging because this is not only my journal that helps me to remember everything in my life but it is also a very therapeutic place for me (I dislike the word therapeutic so much so that I just tried to look in the thesaurus for other words that would get what I want across to you but in a different word and I failed to find one so therapeutic it is).

Winter Semester - 5th Grade

Hey there, it has been a while. I am finally back to blogging after a long hiatus. We have just been so busy and caught up in all the summer fun! So give me a little while as I try to catch up on the past few months. Starting with school...

This past winter semester in school I did my 2nd practicum (like a mini student teaching experience for a month) in 5th grade. I was so nervous to enter into that 5th grade classroom but by recess that day my mind had changed. 10/11 year old girls were not only walking up to my friend Ashley and I to just compliment us and get us to like them, but they were also pretty much pole dancing on these poles at the playground except they didn't name it pole dancing. They were totally oblivious to the whole pole dancing thing but it was hilarious and it was quite entertaining to me. You may call me the worst person in the world for finding humor in 5th grade pole dancing (that isn't really intended to be pole dancing), but if you saw them doing it you would laugh too. Below is a video of Ashley (Mrs. Hulme) trying "pole dancing". Haha.

I was there a month and I had a wonderful experience. Teaching math was a little intimidating especially when you get done teaching a whole lesson and then the students are looking right back at you with the most blank faces. Scariest faces ever. My favorite thing to teach was guided reading. With my group, we read two of my favorites Stargirl and Crash which are both by Jerry Spinelli. I made them cute matching bookmark schedules for each book. For Crash, I also gave them a "Crash Bag" which is a bag that they took home to find things that relate to the book.

On our last day they were all so sad and gave us the sweetest parting gift of hand written notes. Ashley and I gave them little gifts like "Smartie Pants" and fun pencils since they all seemed to struggle with keeping a sharpened pencil. (Copy & Print the "You're So SHARP" here) As we were walking out the door we had a hug train where all the kids stood in a line and each hugged us. So sweet. Moral of the story: 5th graders aren't THAT bad. They are just like my kindergarteners from last semester just a lot smarter and a little more smelly. Haha.

Insta-Five

If you have instagram then you know what I am talking about when I saw "5 things." I was such a weirdo about that. I loved reading everybody else's 5 things you don't know about me, but after getting tagged multiple times I just didn't want to post my own 5 things for everyone to read. I know...insta-lame. Mostly due to the fact that I had no idea what 5 things I would post. After months of thinking about it and after Nat the Fat Rat, one of my favorite blog chicks that I follow, giving me the idea of posting it on my blog, here are my 5 things about me. Enjoy.

1. I can eat a whole can of black olives in less than a minute without even realizing it...and would easily be open to eating another whole can.

2. I can pick my nose with my tongue...it is not flattering and I don't usually brag about it.

3. The first time I asked Matson why he loved me when we were dating he said it was because I am "funny, fun, and fun to be around." So I guess I am just loads of fun.

4. I have laughed at my own jokes for as long as I can remember and more often than not I am the only one laughing.

5. Every parent teacher conference from kindergarten to high school my teachers told my mom that I talk too much...and if you know me then you know that not much has changed. 

Summer Television Cycle

Disclaimer: I really only watch television when I am doing my hair and getting ready and as a family my family watches The Bachelor/Bachelorette. And occasionally when I am just stressed and need to veg out. We do not even have our television connected to cable or any stations at all.

So...every summer I go through this horrible thing where all my shows have ended their seasons and I have nothing to watch all summer long, which is when I would have the most time to get ready which also means I have the most time to watch television. So almost every summer I have picked up a new tv series. IT IS THE WORST because then every year I add on a new tv series I need to watch throughout the whole year. So last summer I started watching Pretty Little Liars from the first season and I got all caught up by Christmas of 2011. But I guess it is all ok because almost every year I have lost a show. Like this past year I lost One Tree Hill. 

You are all thinking, "Wow. Hello TV freak!" I really am not. I really am not that bad. I just watch Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, America's Next Top Model, Pretty Little Liars, and Project Runway.  Holy list.

So this summer I just started watching Downton Abbey. Guys, I love it. I love old fashion shows like musicals and stuff like that. So it is so great for me. I am only on Episode 4 of Season 1. Don't tell me anything about future Downton Abbey eps...but for next summer or Christmas break,  tell me what shows you are watching right now? So then I can be all ready to start another freaking series! 

2nd Wedding Anniversary

Wellp, it has been two years that Matson and I have been married and I know this is mushy and cliche but I love him so much and still consider myself one lucky lady to have gotten a man like Matson who cares so much for me, is so hard working at everything he does, is so kind and giving, and who can make me laugh so hard even when I am completely frustrated with him. It really is something special to marry your best friend, starting your own life together, creating your own little traditions, and truly becoming a family. I've looked back and it's amazing the fun places and things we have experienced and seen together:

Playa del Carmen, Mexico

Seattle, Washington

San Juan, Puerto Rico

St. Thomas

Barbados

St. Lucia

St. Kitts

St. Maarten

New York City

Cancun, Mexico

and of course, all over Utah

Here is to many more years full of adventures and love. I love you, Mats! 

That's enough mushy-ness for you all, I am sure.

So...did you know the 2nd Anniversary gift is the "cotton" anniversary year? Which also reminds me of how I do not like cotton balls and I avoid it as much as I can to touch them. Weirdest texture. Hah. I am so random. 

Meet My Pointed Toes.

Yes, I was a dancer . I started dancing at age 3. 

So precious, huh?
And who would of thought that I actually do my hair like that on a regular day and that it is in style now (minus the green frilly bow thing)?

Loved dance then and still do love it 

(I dance in my kitchen daily and love to watch YouTube dance videos and stalk my friends' dance videos/pictures). 

Although I am no longer on any dance teams and do not take dance classes...
it is still apparent in my toes.

This was pointed out by Matson right when we got married. I can't jump up without pointing my toes. Seriously I try jumping on the tramp with flat feet and it feels so weird and so unnatural.

Pointed toes through the Uggs (Seattle-May 2011)

Pointed toes with heels on!?
(Caribbean Cruise 2011)

 (My sister A*, friend C*, me-the one in the yellow/lime swimsuit, and friend B* in Turkey on our cruise ship-Summer 2009)
I know the picture cuts off the end of my foot, but obviously pointed toes. 

My pointed feet on the table with curlers in my hair!

I feel bad from my bro-in-law C* on the far left who had to hold my pointed feet!

Can you tell which one is me?
Yes, the crazy spirited dressed one on the left with the pointed foot and crazy hair!

Remember in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding...
I am reenacting their restaurant name "Dancing Zorbas."
So I know I am acting like I am dancing...but hey pointed toes.

Who knows what I was doing? Stretching?
Pointed toes. Check.

My siblings and I playing with our underwater camera in Cancun, Summer 2009.
Pointed toes. Check.

Favorite Photos.

Remember our Christmas Card (December 2011)? Here are some favorites of mine from our Christmas Card shoot done by Melissa at Moxie Photography.
She was also our wedding photographer. She takes some great pictures!

We used a better one like this on our actual card, but these ones are funny!

Posts with pictures also done by Moxie Photography here, here, and here.
Happy New Year and Happy First Day of School (for me and other BYU students)!

should I make a change?

a change to my hair is always a risky thing. and an expensive thing. so I need your opinions.

my sophomore year in high school I went blonde and dang short. no way doing that again-I got that out of my system-but here for some laughs and giggles.

When we got married, my hair was same color as it is now. But I had side bangs and hair was a little shorter. Do I cut my bangs short/side swept again?

My hair now is long-ish (I want to grow it so I am not cutting it shorter). I have not dyed my hair for 3+ years, so this is my 100% natural hair color.

bangs at awkward length

friends I want to make a change again. but should I? you are going to help me.
read all my reasonings and such below then leave me with your opinions, friends.

1. Right now my hair is getting long-ish. I want it longer. So there decision made not cutting it shorter.
2. My bangs use to be side swept bangs. Now just at the weird awkie length. So there is a decision I need to do something with my bangs but how? Full bangs or just side swept bangs (like in wedding picture) or keep growing them out?

Full bangs?

3. right now my hair is my 100% natural hair color. It has been the same for like 3+ years. So I kind of want a change. So options here: dye it a little darker/warmer brown (not black or super dark) or leave it at my natural color?

Like this hair color. A titch darker than mine but not killer dark.

Fall hair makeover. Here we come...