Friday, March 27, 2015

Pregnancy Week by Week (Video)

I, of course, am a little late in posting this video. But I still thought it would be fun to share my growing belly with you all. If you just wanna see a quick version of my belly growing skip the video to 2:10. Enjoy.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

RSV Sucks

I am writing about this for first time parents that have no idea what the heck they are doing. Just like me. So maybe you can be a little more cautious and know what to look for.

After my Christmas day emergency surgery, we thought our sick days were over. Man, were we wrong. Matson instantly got sick right after Christmas. Probably brought on by all the stress of having a newborn, having his wife almost die/lose a bunch of blood, and then having to take care of his newborn and anemic wife. A week after my surgery I caught something (possibly the sickness Matson had) and was throwing up for a weekend which sucked having on top of being super weak and recovering from losing so much blood. After recovering from that though we seriously thought that we had all been sick enough for the winter!

Then almost a month ago, toward the end of February, Nixon woke up with a cough and lots of mucus. It was a Saturday so we just chilled all day until I took him to my sis in law's baby shower.  I had no idea what to do so all day that day so I just held him to try and get him to sleep. I had heard and knew that if I took him to the doctor they couldn't give me any special medicine or anything for my little baby so I just gave him a little bit of baby tylenol. While we were at the baby shower other moms were telling me things I could do for his little cold. If I didn't hold him he would wake himself up from coughing. He slept decently that night but Sunday he was even worse. We gave him more baby tylenol and saline drops before I would use our nose aspirator to get as much mucus out as I could. At night I put just a little bit of baby vapor rub on his feet so that he would sleep good because he hadn't been sleeping as solid as normal during his naps that day.

Sunday night he slept SO long. His little body needed more sleep to get him better. He woke up that day pretty normal and happy. But as the day went on I could tell he was getting worse. He napped his normal afternoon nap, but woke up breathing fairly bad. He was wheezing. I recorded his wheezing and texted it to Matson. Matson responded by telling me that I should definitely call our doctor. It was too late to get an appointment for the day so I just talked to a nurse and she told me the symptoms to look for to know if it was more serious than a cold. She told me if his breathing wasn't good (he was struggling or really using his belly too much), was wheezing, had a temperature over 100 degrees or if he stopped eating. He wasn't too bad with any of those except just a slight wheeze but it was off and on so I just decided we would go into the doctor the next day. I fed Nixon and then Matson and I went with my siblings to my grandparents house to eat with them like we do every Monday.

Nixon slept the whole time we were there. When we got home from dinner, it was time for Nixon to feed before going to bed.

**BACK STORY: Nixon has ALWAYS been a big eater. I couldn't measure how much he was eating the first 10 days of his life, but during my surgery and afterward when my milk supply was low my sister in law gave us some of her frozen milk and we gave Nixon bottles and he ate (or drank) 5-6 ounces. He has ate/drank 5 ounces or more ever since. He has always been a BIG eater. He literally is his own alarm clock with feeding time. He loves it and lots of it.**

Anyway, back to the story. After coming home from my grandparents Nixon would not eat. I was trying and trying almost like he was a newborn again forcing him to latch but he would not. He was freaking out and crying like crazy. I knew he had to be starving but he would not. He was obviously hungry and wanted to eat. He would go toward me like he wanted to eat but then would barely latch and pull off. After literally trying for almost a half hour I decided he wasn't going to eat and then he was just so mad. He was more than just crying. He was red face full on wailing. I tried to calm him and make him happy. I tried everything. He loves listening to me sing, so I tried all his usual favorite songs. That didn't work. I tried books, toys, lights, walking around our house, rocking, bouncing, and finally he calmed down (just a little bit) when I put on this visual stimulation baby thing that my niece loved that my parents found on YouTube. He was still whimpering, slightly crying, and now wheezing rather strongly.

Matson had been trying to calm him down with me but now that he kind of was, Matson called the nurse again from our pediatrician's office. The nurse asked Matson his symptoms. After this nurse told us that she was very concerned that he wasn't eating and that nothing was calming him down like normal, she told us that if it was her child she would never put that baby to bed without him getting checked. Since it was now 10pm at night, she advised us to go to the ER. So that is what we decided to do. We grabbed all of Nixon's things (blankets, diaper bag, PJ's) and I threw on a hat. We got right in the car with our crying babe. He was so unhappy, hungry, and now tired.

The hospital is only five minutes away from us but our little babe loves the car and fell asleep (thank goodness) on the way to the hospital. He was exhausted.

We walked into the ER. It was PACKED. Literally there were probably 30-40 people in there. Matson told me he would check in and for me to just sit down with Nixon in his carseat. Someone with a black eye, sick kids, people with broken bones limping, and all I could think about was how this was going to be a VERY long night. I thought that it would take forever for us to get called in. I was wrong because right as I was thinking that I heard a nurse call, "Nixon."

 Apparently a sick 10 week old baby goes right to the top of the list. We walked into the small room where a nurse was there waiting for us to tell her all about what was going on. We told her about how he was ok until early evening and how he wouldn't eat and nothing would calm him down. She told us she needed to take his temperature, weigh him, and check his oxygen levels.

We woke him up, which he wasn't too happy about. But he wasn't wailing like he was before. Just kind of whimpering. They weighed him and he weighed 14 lbs and 10 ounces. He gained about 6 ounces in a little less than a week since he was weighed at the doctor's office. After she checked him and everything she took us to our ER room. We sat in there for a little while. His ER nurse and ER tech came in, checked his vitals again, and hooked him up to the monitors. Nixon's nurse told us that Nixon's oxygen levels were too low and that he needed oxygen. Instead of hooking him up to oxygen they gave me a little tube that had oxygen blowing out of it. I held it right below his nose. The oxygen was definitely helping to raise his oxygen level.

The ER pediatrician came in and told us a little bit about what they were going to do. That Nixon needed to be tested for different viruses. So they took some of his blood to be tested. The doctor also told us that a respiratory therapist was going to come in and suction some of the mucus out of Nixon's nose.  Nixon obviously didn't like any of this, but he especially hated when the respiratory therapist used this small little tube to go down his nose and throat to suction out mucus. Matson held Nixon down while the therapist suctioned out his mucus. While we waited for hours for the test results to come back Nixon fell asleep in my arms. Matson and I were exhausted. It was now about 1am. The nurse got us some waters and snacks, which was very nice of them.

The tests came back positive for RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus; which later became Bronchiolitis) and Rhino Virus. Matson and I weren't too surprised but we were very worried. Since we are first time parents, this was a whole new world. We had no idea what to do but we were more worried than ever. We just wanted our little baby better. At this point, the nurse also told us that they needed to X-Ray Nixon to see his lungs and other things. This was horrible too. We went into the X-Ray room. Matson held little Nixon down on a metal (and very cold) surface. Nixon had to stay still so Matson really had to hold him down strong. Nixon is a strong kicker and wasn't happy so he was really kicking. After doing multiple X-Rays to get a good, Nixon fell right back to sleep in my arms again.

After all the test and X-rays (it was about 2:30 am), the doctor came in and told us that Nixon needed to be admitted to the hospital. He told the reason being is that his oxygen levels were a bit low. Normal they want babies with RSV to be at 92 or higher but our Nixon was sitting at or around 88 with oxygen being blown at his nose. Without the oxygen, he was going to as low as 83. Although we were exhausted and bummed to be staying at the hospital, I was happy because I knew this meant that Nixon would at least be getting better or being monitored so that nothing horrible would happen to him like him stop breathing. I badly wanted to go home, but knew that the hospital was the right place for us to be.

Our ER tech, who was a Provo High alumni (YUCK. Haha. Our high school rival), was such a sweetheart. We were really sad to not have her anymore. It's funny how we again and again got attached to nurses and techs. She took us upstairs to the pediatric floor and into a rather large room that had a crib (for Nixon) and an extra hospital bed (where I slept), two rocking chairs, and a pull out chair bed (where Matson slept). By the time we got up to our room it was about 3 am. Matson hurried and ran home to not only take my family's dog to my sister and her husband, but to also grab us a few essentials like a change of clothes and our toothbrushes.

While Matson was gone our new nurse and tech got us all set up. She gave us diapers, wipes, more drinks, snacks, and she talked to me about everything. Supplies, paper work, where to breast pump, and all sorts of goodies. They hooked Nixon up to oxygen and gave him a feeding tube. He DID not like getting the feeding tube put down his throat and into his belly. It was so sad to watch.  Nixon had to be fed through a tube because most babies before age 2 mostly breathe through their noses so when they are sick and have mucus they can't breathe through their noses very well. So when they go to eat and latch on to breastfeed they cannot breathe at all. So they refuse to eat. This is why he had to be tube fed. So I pumped every time that Nixon fed and the nurse would put my breastmilk in a big 2 oz. syringe that was hooked up to a machine that slowly pumped the breastmilk into the tube that went straight into Nixon's belly.

Anyway that night was very tiring. Matson came back to the hospital with our stuff and we just stood looking at our little baby at 4 am in his hospital crib. He was exhausted too and was finally asleep. Matson and I stood over his crib and I will be honest, I just cried. We prayed together and then tried to get a little sleep before we woke up at 7 am.

For the next four days, we had quite an emotional roller coaster. One day he would be looking like he was getting better but then a coupe hours he would be bad again. The doctors were moving his oxygen levels up and down and up and down. He was getting suctioned (the tube thing that went down his nose/throat to get the mucus out) 4 or more times a day. Nixon was sleeping a lot more than normal. He literally was sleeping all day long. He was so tired. One day he woke up and I could tell he just wanted to play. I sat in the hospital crib with him (don't worry it holds up to 400 pounds and parents are allowed to sit in it) and played and sang with him. It looked as though he was getting better but then that next night they turned his oxygen levels up higher than ever before. When they came in and told us that they had to move it up to support his oxygen more I just balled. I was so sick of him being in the hospital and carrying my baby with all these tubes and cords attached to him. I just wanted to be back at home with my happy baby.

I could go on and on and tell you all about our 5 days in the hospital, but I would rather not because this is already VERY long. Instead I am just going to share a few stories from our week in the hospital with Nixon.

Nixon normally eats about 5 oz. and has since early on, but they were only feeding him one 2 oz. syringe of breastmilk. So on our second day at the hospital Nixon decided he didn't like that and that he wanted more. He cried and cried and cried. We kept trying to figure out what was wrong and finally I realized it had to be because he was hungry. The nurse told us that he had just fed him some milk in his feeding tube. At this point I didn't know how much milk fit into each one of the syringes so I asked and he responded by telling me 2. I knew right then that it was not nearly enough for our big eater. So I told the nurse that he may be so unhappy because he is still hungry. The nurse looked shocked when I told him that Nixon eats 5 oz each feeding. He laughed and said that that was DEFINITELY why our little guy was so upset. So he went and got another syringe of milk warmed up and Nixon was much happier.

Mid day on our first day in the hospital Nixon was acting like he was bored. Our sweet nurse brought in a mobile and toys to keep him entertained. He loved them and would watch them, but after a couple days of those toys he was bored of them. So one day our new nurse told me that she would be right back. She came in and put a DVD into our hospital room DVD player. On came an episode of Baby Einstein - Mozart. I sat down on the rocking chair with Nixon in my lap. He was in love. We had never done this before and Matson and I were shocked he watched it. Literally I don't think Nixon blinked for the whole half hour long video. He loves music so it was his favorite thing. I think we watched that video like 3 times before we were discharged and he loved it every single time.

Since becoming a mom I have never prayed more, but being in the hospital I literally prayed all day long. Every single night Matson and I would prayer together with Nixon and with each other. But one night my parents came to visit us and my dad took a picture of Nixon that he posted on Instagram. Along with the picture, my dad wrote on Instagram something along the lines of asking others to pray for him and us. It was amazing how many people commented and liked the picture saying that they were going to pray for us. I cried reading each person's comment and it comforted me so much knowing that all those people were praying for Nixon. Later in the early hours of the morning they slowly lessened Nixon's oxygen levels. He went to bed being at a 6 and when we woke up in the morning he was at a 2 (the lowest level they will keep him at). For the past few nights Nixon was not doing good. He would get better during the day and his oxygen level would be at a 3 or 4 and then always had his oxygen level raised at night. So this was truly amazing that during the night he was getting better and better. That next day by the afternoon they completely took him off oxygen and took out his feeding tube!

It was amazing! They kept us there to make sure that he wouldn't go back downhill again. He took multiple naps that day, ate very well, and at 10pm Friday night we were discharged! We were so happy to be able to go home. I know it is because of the many people that prayed for us that Nixon was taken off oxygen and able to go home. I am so thankful for the many people that did prayer for him.

Although we were discharged and Nixon was getting better, I was still so scared. I asked the doctors a bunch of questions and what we should look for if he needed to come back. I was nervous to not have his oxygen level and heart rate not monitored all the time. I was nervous to go through a night all on our own. It was like I was a brand new mom again. We went home and did our normal night time routine with him again. We bathed him, read to him, and put him to bed. That night Matson and I didn't sleep very well. We checked on him every 2 hours. Matson literally set an alarm for every 2 hours to make sure he was breathing, which we didn't really need because for some reason I woke up naturally every couple hours to check on him. He was always breathing well.

For the next while Matson and I stayed in and didn't take Nixon anywhere. Nixon still had mucus for a couple of days after the hospital but not nearly as much. He had a cough for about a week after. He also slept like a newborn for the week after the hospital. Literally would feed then sleep feed then sleep. His body was tired and needed it.

All in all we are so grateful that our baby boy is better and ok. He is back to himself, doing better than ever, and growing like a weed! He gained one pound that week in the hospital. Remember how he was 14 lbs. and 10 oz. when we checked into the hospital? Well exactly a week after we checked into the hospital he had an appointment with his doctor and he weighed 15 lbs. and 10 oz.! Chunkers!

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Nixon - 3 Months

Bouncy chair obsessed • Loves to sucks on his hands whenever he can • Moved up to Size 2 diapers • Hates getting into his car seat, yet happy once he's in • Likes to be read to • Conquered 2 Viruses & was a champ for 5 days in the hospital!

Nixon - 2 Months

Sleeps in his crib for 5-7 hour stretches (YAY!) • Attempts talking daily • Loves to stare at our ceiling fan (pretty much a giant baby mobile) • Big snuggler • Obsessed with his hands • Hates getting out of the bath • Almost grown out of all his 0-3 month clothes

Nixon - 1 Month

Better late than never...Nixon turned one month old on January 16th. I posted this originally on Instagram and will continue to post his monthly updates there and on here!

Professional farter (stinky & LOUD) • Sleeps with his hands by his face • Enjoys tummy time and holding his head up for abnormally long amounts of time • Flashes his smile at us as he drifts into dream land • Entertained by movement: his swing, car rides, and dancing! • You know he's asleep once he spits out his binky • Daily Goal: to pee on mom or dad

Monday, March 16, 2015

Nixon's Birth Announcement

I totally spaced sharing Nixon's birth announcement on here. Due to my surgery and the craziness of having a newborn we didn't really get these out until mid January! And now I am posting it here mid March. Oops.

So if you didn't get one of these in your mailbox don't be offended. I either don't have your address, ran out of announcements, or I don't know you. Ha. So let's all pretend to open our mailboxes...and bam you see this in your mailbox!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Christmas Activities 2014

First of all let me just say it is SO overwhelming trying to catch up on blogging about everything. I have missed blogging about pretty much all of summer, lots of birthdays, the birth of my first niece, Halloween, Thanksgiving, a quick Vegas trip, and prepping for our baby. But I just decided I am going to just skip it and just do a quick recap of the past few months and just go on with the future.

Before Nixon was born it was a special time to be able to not only be prepping for our little one but also to be celebrating and experiencing all the Christmas festivities going on!

The weekend before Nixon was born we went to a friend's party!

Nixon kissing his cousin!
After having Nixon and before my crazy Christmas day we were able to squeeze in a few Christmas activities! Two days after getting home from the hospital my family wanted to get some quick Christmas pictures taken. My brother had just came in town for Christmas and so we headed down to Google Fiber where they had a photographer and little Christmas photo backdrop set up. Nixon was only 4 days old! I love these pictures because look how little he was!

Grandparents and the Grandkids 2014
My Family 2014
Our Family 2014

The weekend before Christmas my sister and sister in law wanted to have a little Christmas Pinterest idea photo shoot. My niece got some pretty dang cute ones of her in a box full of ornaments. Nixon's photoshoot on the other hand didn't turn out too great. But it was still fun!

On Little Christmas Eve. (a Danish holiday my family celebrates) we went and took pictures of Nixon and my niece with Santa Claus. It was freezing cold at the outside Santa at Riverwoods but we still went! We just dressed Nixon up in his little, fuzzy bear suit!

After the Santa pictures we went and looked at different lights around the Sandy/Draper area. There are a bunch of musical lights out there and we really wanted to go see the Tree of Life, which was amazing.

On Christmas Eve. my Grandma from Washington came into town. My family just spent time together. The guys watched a movie late while us ladies just talked and went to bed. 

My Grandma and Nixon
Christmas Eve Snoozin'

Friday, March 6, 2015

Our Christmas Day Miracle

This post has taken me awhile to decide if I should write or not. Once again this may be a little TMI for some readers. If you don't like blood then stop reading now. I am going to spare you a lot of details, but I just look at my blog as a journal so I thought I should write about this day that was a sad but blessed day. AND I am not writing this to get sympathy. Ha.

On Christmas day 2014, I woke up in the morning to feed Nixon at about 7 am. He went back to sleep and almost instantly I started not feeling my best. My stomach kind of hurt and I felt like I had to go to the bathroom so bad. Yet when I continually kept trying to go to the bathroom, I couldn't. Matson woke up for the day and I told him I wasn't feeling good, which kind of sucked because honestly I love Christmas. I love family traditions and look forward to them for weeks. I had been looking forward to this Christmas day for months because I knew it would be so special to have our little boy with us for the holiday. Even though I wasn't feeling so great I did my make up for the day to look a little better but stayed in my pajamas because that's what my family does. Pj's all day!

My mom makes a really big Christmas breakfast every year. So my whole family including my grandparents sat down for our big Christmas breakfast at about 9 am. I wasn't feeling my best still so I just ate a little bit of everything. While eating breakfast I really was feeling sick and like I had to go to the bathroom SOOO bad. I felt so much pressure down below and my stomach was hurting so bad. I took magnesium and fiber to see if that would help my constipation (PS: I hate that word. Constipation. Worst word ever besides the word moist.). My grandma who was in town from Washington was asking me what was wrong and even though this makes me sound like a baby, I cried as I told her how I felt. After helping to get breakfast cleaned up my family was all ready to start our Christmas morning!

Real quick I told my family that I needed to run to the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and nothing came. Still a bunch of pressure down there and my stomach was hurting so bad. All of the sudden I felt like I was going pee, but I wasn't. I looked down in the toilet and it was starting to fill with bright red blood and even some clots of blood. I yelled to my mom who was still cleaning up in the kitchen. She came in and I asked her if it was normal to bleed this much after having a baby. Just the night before my sister in law, my mom, and I had been talking about how after I had only had Nixon about 9 days prior and that I hadn't really bled as much as other women have told me. They both talked about how they bled a lot just a couple days after having a baby. I didn't think much of it and shrugged it off. I thought that I was the lucky one who didn't bleed much. MAN, was I wrong!

As I sat there with a constant flow of blood, I was thinking about that conversation and that this must be what all those women were talking about. My mom told me it was normal. But then I just continued to bleed and bleed. She grabbed the biggest pad she had at her house and I put it on and told her I just wanted to go upstairs real quick to wash off in the bathtub and change then I would be down for gifts.

Right when I got upstairs into my childhood bedroom, I could still feel bleeding. I looked and the pad was full. It only took me about 1 minute to walk upstairs. So in 1 minute I filled the biggest pad ever. I got in the bathtub and turned on the hot water. I figured the bathtub is the safest place so that I didn't bleed all over the carpet. I filled the bathtub only about an inch and already the tub water was bright red. I was starting to feel super weak, my stomach was killing more than some of my contractions just 9 days earlier when I was delivering Nixon. I wasn't sure if I was feeling weak because I was grossed out of all the blood or because I was actually sick. At this point I still had no idea if this was the blood that my sister in law and my mom were talking about the night before or not. I didn't know whether or not it was normal to bleed this much and so long after having my baby.

After I had literally refilled the bathtub like 4 times with water and it being bright red and thick, I starting realizing that it was not normal. This is when I knew I couldn't get up to get someone. I was feeling too weak so I started yelling. My family had Christmas music on downstairs so I had to yell pretty loud. No one seemed to be hearing me. I was yelling "Matson" and "Mom" to see if either of them would hear me. As dramatic as this sounds I was also banging on the bathtub wall because I knew I couldn't get up because blood would just go everywhere. I probably looked like some hormonal teenager from a teen sitcom yelling and hitting the wall while screaming their names. Haha. My mom must have heard me because she came up. She looked at the bathtub and told me that this was definitely not normal. She started cleaning up everything and she sat on the toilet right next to the bathtub as I continued to bleed in pain. She kept watching me and I could tell by her face that this was not the normal bleeding she had been talking about the night before. Matson came in and his face was in shock. He doesn't do so well with blood or anything like this, we were surprised he made it through the birth of our son. My mom told Matson, "This is not normal. This is a lot of blood."

Matson started to text and call my OB doctor. He wasn't responding (Of course he wasn't! It was Christmas morning!). Both my mom and Matson decided right there that we needed to get to the hospital. My dad was in my room as some point too. I don't know exactly what went on because I was just trying to get through the pain while they all made the quick decision and plan of what to do.

Matson and my dad ran downstairs. They got the car right by the garage door and a bunch of towels onto the passenger seat. Meanwhile my mom was helping me stand out of the bath, get my pj's back on, and I couldn't stand so literally my mom was carrying all my weight. If you know my parents house then you can picture this. My mom, who weighs like 100 pounds, carried all my weight from my bathroom to the top of the stairs. I think she realized that I wasn't doing too well and that she probably couldn't carry me down the stairs so I sat on a chair at the top of the stairs until Matson came and picked me up. Matson picked me up, we ran down the stairs, I could hear Nixon crying, and as we were leaving I told my mom through tears that Nixon was going to be very hungry soon. He needed to feed right then! It's amazing what being a mom does to you. Even through all my pain and bleeding, I honestly couldn't think of anyone but Nixon. I needed to feed him and that was all that I was thinking about.

We got in the car and Matson was speeding to the hospital. It was snowing and yes, Matson was speeding. I will be honest I thought we were going to get in a wreck and we almost did twice because of dumb non-Utahns driving in Utah snow. I screamed at Matson multiple times to watch out and slow down. This felt all too familiar to the morning before Nixon was born. Matson responded to me that I needed to get to the hospital and he was not going to stop even if it was a red light. So it made me very happy that all the lights were green and we didn't have to go through any red lights.

We finally arrived to the ER doors. Matson carried me out and my dad, who followed us there in his own car, took our car and parked it for us. Matson carried me in and put me on a wheelchair. They wheeled me into an ER room. The nurse instantly started asking questions to Matson and I. We told her I had just had a baby 9 days before and everything that had happened this morning. Meanwhile another nurse was putting an IV in. Next the nurse looked at my downstairs and did confirm that something was definitely wrong and that I was losing a lot of blood. She changed everything, threw away my soaked clothes, and tried to clean me up to only have to clean me up less than 20 minutes later due to all the blood. My dad and Matson were making grossed out and shocked faces at my blood. There were blood clots the size of fists coming out. YUCK!

Because it was Christmas there was not very many people at the hospital. There was a doctor on call there but by this point my OB (my parents' neighbor and family friend) had already responded to us and told us he was sorry that he wasn't by his phone and that he was leaving his house to the hospital now to come help. I am SO grateful to him and his family for giving up their Christmas for me too. My OB ordered for an ultrasound. The nurse had to call in an ultrasound tech because none were there due to the holiday. It took her about 45 minutes to an hour to get there. When she came she wheeled me to the ultrasound room. She looked at my uterus to see if any pieces from the birth were in there. There were. She wasn't sure if they were placenta or what but something was in there that wasn't supposed to, which may be why I was bleeding so much. She explained to Matson, my dad, and I that they were smaller than a centimeter but that it didn't matter how small.

After the ultrasound, my OB arrived and checked me out. I'm not sure at what point I was given morphin but I was because all of the sudden I started going in and out of sleep. Drugs work VERY well on me. In high school I used to take lortab for pain and I literally would take it and in less than 30 minutes I would knock out and sleep for hours and hours. Due to the pain medication the only few things I remember was that the nurse had to keep changing the pads underneath me (like the pads that you train a dog on) and that after the ultrasound my OB decided that I needed to have surgery to remove whatever was in me and to stop my bleeding.

Since I was to have surgery my OB had to call in a surgical nurse, anesthesiologist, and others to come to the hospital so he could perform the surgery. This took another hour or so for them to all arrive. Once again I think I was in and out of sleep this whole time because all I remember before the surgery was that Matson left to go check on Nixon and to talk to his brother who was calling from his LDS mission. He didn't want to leave me but my dad reassured him that he would stay by my side and wait for me while I was in surgery. So Matson left to go talk to his brother who we only get to talk to twice a year and introduce Nixon to him over the phone. After Matson left some of the people we needed for the surgery showed up. This is when my OB and the anesthesiologist wheeled me to the operating room and my dad was told to wait in the waiting room. I moved onto the cold operating table and the last thing I remember before they "put me under" was my OB sternly asking where the surgical nurse, Karl, was and that he better hurry because I needed the surgery NOW. To be honest that kind of freaked me out but also made me realize that this was very serious.

Since the next thing I remember is being in the after care room, I am going retell you the next events from Matson and my dad's memories.

During my hour or so long surgery Matson was able to talk to his brother for a little bit and introduce Nixon to him. They also held a big family prayer over the phone with his brother on his mission. At this point Matson had no idea what was happening to me at the hospital and his family was all very worried about me. Matson returned Nixon back to my family's house and came to the hospital. I was done with my surgery and in the recovery room. The doctor and surgical team came into the recovery room just as Matson got there. The doctor had blood all over his shoes and stuff. He told Matson and my dad that they could go see me. They walked over and Matson said it was the worst thing ever. He could tell I was not in good shape, which shocked him because he thought that the surgery was going to fix me. Even though the surgery was done, Matson said I was as white as could be and I laid on the hospital bed not moving and in pain. Matson and my dad were very concerned because even though I had the surgery, I was still bleeding. This not only surprised my dad and Matson but also the recovery nurse, surgical nurse, anesthesiologist, and my doctor. I was still losing a lot of blood.

Matson recalls the time in the recovery room being very up and down. He remembers all of the medical staff panicking and running around the entire time I was in there. Machines going off and on.  My dad hated when I would randomly scream from pain. I don't even remember screaming but apparently I was. I was in the recovery room for quite a long time. Multiple times they were wanting to give me a blood transfusion but my doctor kept holding off because blood transfusions can be risky for future children and can cause other complications. The entire time I was in there Matson said I was paler than a ghost, not moving or doing much but sometimes would say short phrases over and over again. One was that I was freezing cold so they put like 20 warm blankets all around my face and body. Another thing I kept asking and worry about was Nixon. Then I would also worry about Christmas and our family traditions. Then lastly he said about every 10 minutes or so I would say I think I am peeing. But I wasn't peeing, I was actually bleeding more. This is when the medical staff would scramble around not knowing why I was still bleeding.

This is obviously not my most attractive picture.
 This is me about 2 hours after my surgery during the crazy time in the recovery room.

Matson and my dad were sitting by my side yet out of the team's way. Matson said he continually was praying for me. He thought I was going to pass away and that he was going to have to take care of Nixon all on his own. That's all he was thinking about. The nurse could not even get a needle in me to take some of my blood to test. They poked me all over to see if they could get some blood out but there wasn't any blood. It took multiple nurses and then finally the anesthesiologist to fill just a very small amount of a vial.  After a few hours of stress in the recovery room, I stopped bleeding and was finally ok. They moved me to a regular hospital room. I was stable but Matson said I was still complaining about being cold and I was still pretty much asleep. By this time it was about 7pm or so in the evening. 

I remember waking up and suddenly being in a normal hospital room. My first thought was that I had to get something to eat. I was starving. They brought me some nasty ham Christmas meal. Matson forced me to eat at least half of it because I needed to eat meat now so that I could have more iron in my body to help me build up my blood supply. In the regular hospital room the nurses were so nice. They got me fluids, a bunch of medicine, loads of fresh warm blankest, and they kept telling me that I may have to stay over night. I DID NOT WANT TO STAY OVER NIGHT. It was Christmas and I felt like I had already ruined it for both our families. Plus I really wanted to see Nixon. I felt so bad for abandoning him all day.

My family was amazing and took care of him. My sister in law fed him all day since she was breastfeeding my niece. She also gave him his first bottle of pumped milk. She was amazing. I balled when I heard about all the nice things people had been doing for us all day. Lots of prayers, my family taking care of Nixon, my sis in law feeding him, all the medical staff taking extra time for me on Christmas day, and both our families waited and paused Christmas for me. 

Since my doctor knew I badly wanted to be home on Christmas, he allowed me to be discharged out of the hospital. I was incredibly happy. My doctor told me that I could go home if I just rested and took it very very easy. To recover all I needed was some pain medicine, lots of sleep, and iron. He also told me it would be a couple of weeks to a month before I feel normal again. YIKES. Finally at 11pm on Christmas I was discharged. 

I went back to my parents house and saw my sleeping baby. Apparently he slept all day long and all he did was wake up to eat. He was an angel baby so they said. At 11pm my family started our Christmas. They fed me again (more red meat) and even though I was feeling very weak I sat on the couch and watched everyone open their gifts. It was a little bit of a different Christmas but I was so grateful everyone waited for me. The next night Matson's family had their Christmas and I will be honest it still totally felt like Christmas!

All in all I lost 2 liters of blood at the hospital and who knows how much more before I got to the hospital at my parents house. I lost a significant amount of blood and was therefore considered anemic. For the next month and the first month of our newborn's life I was very weak. I slept when Nixon slept and it took all the energy I had to just get in the bath each day. I couldn't even get up to make myself food or I literally felt so light headed. Matson was a saint. He made all the meals, cleaned everything, fed Nixon bottles in the middle of the night, and was Mr. Mom. PLUS he tried to work as much as he could from home. Matson's biggest job though was forcing me to eat red meat. That was a job in and of itself. Haha. I hate red meat. Actually let's be for real here. I hate all meat really.

The pieces of junk they took out of me was sent into a lab to be tested. It wasn't placenta or anything. Just blood clots. My doctor explained to us that what happened was my uterus didn't fully contract so my body still thought I was pregnant. It was still pumping all my blood down to my uterus as if our baby was in there. But since it wasn't, my uterus was just filling up with blood. Now I know in the future that I should bleed more right after having my baby and I should have strong cramps from my uterus contracting down. 

I am so grateful for prayer, my family, friends, and my husband. I could not have done this without him or our families. We are so incredibly blessed.